Empathy

I'm feeling what you're feeling...

I might be wrong but, the feeling is real...

I don't really ask for this strength, yet it stays and grows..

O dear Lord..

I really wish You'd never strengthen this feeling..

Now that I have it,

Could you please kindly help me to use it properly...

I'm begging You...

Pressure

Living means dealing with pressure..

Pressure being a human..

Pressure to dealing with necessities..

Pressure to be someone..

To be something..

That sometimes, we couldn't handle..

It's the right thing to be ourselves..

But, to be ourselves is not always the easier thing to do..

I haven't be the best of myself..

Been the worst..

Question is..

How can I be the best of myself?

This question lives..

Till now and yet not knowing the answer..

Not tomorrow..

Not know when..

Or I never meant to know the answer..

Crisis

I'm on a crisis..

Financially.. perhaps..

Morally, maybe..

Mentally.. could be..

What I'm really worried is faith..

What if I don't have any faith no more..

Faith in humanity..

Faith in Him..

Or even, faith in myself..

Why is everything so wrong..

Why is my life seems unfair..

What did I do wrong?

Who I have wronged?

Is it something..

Someone..

Or, is it myself?

I have no idea..

I have no clue..

Life could be easier..

Life could be simpler..

But, why it doesn't seem so..

What should I do..

Who should I run to?

Is there any exit?

Is ther any hope?

God?

Faith

Faith is not always about Him..

Is not always about surrendering yourself unto Him..

Is not always about trying to please Him..

I failed all those..

I can never feel worthy to Him..

I would never be His best option..

But, I realized that

Faith can also be the willingness to go through process..

Something like gone through hell and back..

Willing to take harder path and thrive..

Willing to suffer..

And even not knowing when all the process ends..

It may never end..

Cuz perhaps..

The end is your end of life..

Worry not, cuz perhaps..

You'll get eternity as reward..

Strength

Strong and steady against unstable matters..

Triumph and push the limit..

Ready to retaliate inconsistency..

Emit positive ambience..

Never think about quitting..

Get up and stand up against discrimination..

Tender the tensions..

Hold on and keep on moving forward..

A Wisdom

Wolves hauling...

Into the woods wailing...

Something peculiar waiting...

Doom to its seeking...

On the night full of grieving...

Might you be considering...

A crack

Expect nothing..

As it might be withered..

A mistake is a mistake..

Couldn't be mended..

There would be a crack still..

No matter how hard you've tried to fix it..

Hostile won't help..

Yet, be friends with it..

Passion

What is it you truly desire?

I am asking to my reflection on the mirror..

Money?

Power?

Status?

Is it a thing?

Or is it not?

One can truly excel beyond others..

But, is it really a thing?

What is it then?

For some can be ok not to pursue it to death..

And one risk everything for it..

Now, I am asking you again..

What is it you truly desire?

Time

What is something that ticks but never stops?

What is something that you got to spend freely but, you could never undo?

What is it that you could never get it back?

Time!

Thus, use it wisely..

I could only say how much I truly regret by the way I spent it..

I could never go back..

Be wise and be wiser..

I can't thank you enough

I can't thank you enough..

For every seconds of your grace..

For every breath..

Even for your wrath..

I took everything for granted..

Yet, I complain..

I just sometimes couldn't see your gestures..

What's in your eyes?

What do you see?

I am just a lowly creature that has been using your kindness without anything in return..

Yet, you still care..

For that, I can't thank you enough..

In search of light

Walk alone in a dark alley..

See nothing but darkness..

Wait,

I see it..

I see a light..

The dim light..

It keeps me moving..

Away from the dark alley,

Step by step..

Walk onto the light..

Faith is the sole guidance..

30

Hope is an active word

Can't just sit and wait to make it true

Instead, keep on going...

Keep on believing

That it will come.

Not too soon,

Not too late,

But, right on time!

Putaran Perjalanan

Bumi berputar...

Berotasi atas porosnya sendiri selama 24 jam...

Bumipun berevolusi mengitari sang mentari 1 tahun lamanya...

Berputar kawan...

Seperti bumi tempat kita diciptakan...

Bumi hidup.. menghidupi mahkluk - mahkluk yang ada didalamnya...

Sama halnya dengan kita manusia...

Terus berotasi dan berevolusi untuk hidup...

Kadang menyenangkan, kadang memilukan...

Tanpa henti... sampai kita nantinya tidak bernafas lagi...

Terkadang ingin rasanya hati untuk berhenti.. barang sejenak..

Menikmati puncak kejayaan..

Namun, hidup tak terhenti...

Terus berdetik dan berdetak..

Tak ada yang abadi..

Seperti halnya kesenangan..

Kepedihanpun tak akan abadi..

Kau hanya perlu yakin, kalau kau masih sanggup berdiri..

Menatap sang surya dengan penuh berani..

Dan melangkah, walau hanya sejengkal demi sejengkal..

Yakinlah bahwa engkau semakin mendekati keselamatan abadi..

Karena Dia senantiasa mengiringi langkahmu...

Na na na...

Diluar kau teriakan bualan bualan manismu..

Tapi di dalam, kau injak injak hati nuranimu..

Kau cokokan dogma dogma praktismu tentang sorga...

Kau doktrin umatmu dengan persepsi-persepsi palsu...

Nampaknya kau bangga dengan kebusukanmu itu...

Tapi tak mempan bagiku..

Kutau kebobrokan moralmu..

Cukup kusumpal kupingku..

Persetan dengan ocehanmu itu..

Na na.. la la la la.. na na na na na...

Nb: inspired by Naughty Boy feat Sam Smith La La La...

Renungan Kebangkitan

Engkau mati...

Tersiksa, terhina, terpenjara oleh karena dosa yang Kau sendiri tak lakukan..

Aneh memang orang orang sekarang..

Berlomba lomba menjadi nabi.. atas dasar uang dan kuasa..

Mengaku kaumMu tapi menghakimi yang tidak sejalan dan sepemikiran...

Mengaku yang lakunya paling benar dan paling suci..

Entahlah.. aku hanya pengikut kecilmu yang tak punya kuasa..

Jangankan uang... mukapun tak ada..

Hanya mampu berdoa mengingat jasaMu dan berharap belas kasihanMu semata..

KebangkitanMu adalah pengharapanku..

Terimakasih...

Ratapan Pribumi

Sudah aku akhiri perjalananku mengikut kompeni...

Sang penguasa agung tak bercela...

Sikulit putih yang tanpa becacat...

Apalah arti seorang pribumi?

Belajar setengah mati, belajar adab barat biar bisa mengerti dan berinteraksi...

Tapi tanpa daya melawan otoritas barat...

Memang saya pribumi, berkulit putihpun tidak.. apalagi berdarah barat..

Rapuh, seolah tak berhak menapaki bumi pertiwi...

Apa guna benar apa guna melawan?

Bila darah yang mengalir darah pribumi...

Ah, tidak penting itu ilmu pengetahuan... tidak berlaku lagi..

Percumah, kalau nantinyapun hanyalah berakhir menjilati kaki putih yang katanya tak bercela itu..

Ah sudahlah...

Memang asu, jadi sudahlah...

Nb: sebuah tulisan yang mungkin sekarang sudah tidak relevan dengan jaman... entahlah, mungkin masih mungkin tidak... hanyalah tulisan..

Hi My Lovely

Seeing you smile

My world stop...

It might be a simple gesture...

But, you showed me that my existence matters...

Mom

Cries a lot...
Yet, strong and sturdy...

Noisy most of the time...
Yet, cares endlessly...

Restless,
Relentless...

I could never repay your love...

Thanks mom...
I love you...