I'm the man who stood and starred bewildered against the sky

I stare at the blue sky
Looking for the brightest star

I stare at the night sky
Looking for the bright sun

I stood there for a long while
I have not found those I looking for

Bewildering,
Not knowing the answers

What am I mistaken?
Am I got dementia?

Who am I looking for?
What am I looking for?

Why I could not understand?
Why I could not move on?

When the blue sky, goes by...

When the blue sky, goes by..

say hi..

When the blue sky, goes by..

come by..

When the blue sky, goes by..

Clarify..

When the blue sky, goes by..
Don't ask why..

The Challenge

when it comes to the Challenge, what comes to your mind?

see it clearly?

no?

life gets hard as you movin on...
life could get suck as you carries on...

So, you get cherished by it?
you get frustrated?

i know you do...

but how people move on from it?
 why people carry on?

in whose hand we put it?

how we manage to get along with it?

some say, "just fuck it up!!"
some say, "wake up!!"

what should i do?
how could i do?

questions...

 people have different ego..
different perspectives..

which one is right?

which one i should follow?

i'll say, follow the one that can assist you to overcome...

The Challenge

This is the Last Time

This is goodbye, from me to you, It’s time to rectify

This is a cry, and I don’t lie, it’s time to nullify

Cuz now I see the sky, and now I’m free to fly

 I try to satisfy the soul and let it fly

Cuz I know that I’m alive…

This is the last time

For me to let my soul to burn and I can’t let myself to mourn

For me to let myself to mourn and I can’t let myself to burn…

And now I am starting to be fine

And now I am starting to feel life…

ps: To Gideon, "Let yourself free broo!" 

Resident of Hope

A resident of hope?

are you?

when your dreams were raped and torn to pieces...

do you succumb?

A resident of hope?

are you?

when your rights were tossed to the ground...

do you struggle?

A resident of hope you said?

so how you manage it?

show me how to manage it!

when mine is shattered and scattered...

26 Years of Contemplating, 26 Years of being Humane

What humanity means?
26 years contemplating, finding the true meaning of humanity
26 years contemplating, finding the true meaning of love...

What is humanity?
when people treat u badly
when people treat u unfairly

What is love then?
when people hurt u
when people let u down

Sin took you over?
Sinner I have become?

why serenity felt so far away
yet, mourn always be my company...

Shall i take a leap of faith?
a leap that might change my destiny...
a leap that might send me to abyss...

Thou who born from light...
Thou who'd seen my sinful acts...
would you let me free or let me die?

dying from the vaguely exhilarating pain
dying from the pseudo satisfaction

O Holy Lord, I lost in this crowded paradise
a heaven of treachery, mockery, and slavery

O Holy Lord, please forgive me
lead me to your glory
lead me to your miraculous Kingdom... 

It's hard to be me

It's hard to be me,
when i must make everybody satisfy
but, neglecting my own joyfulness

It's hard to be me,
when i must make decision
based on somebody's interest

It's hard to be me,
when i must not care about myself
others instead

It's hard to be me,
when i must do somebody's request
contrasting my principal

Don't you think?

exhilaratingly irritating

what a exhilarating sensation you have?
a short feeling of heaven...
numb your morality...

many times I said "i'm done with you"
yet, it keeps coming back again and again...

o'God glory God, the Merciful God
i condemned this insanity
i cursed this vaguely quivering excitement

forgive my tenacious behavioral
forgive my lack of

i just couldn't resist
the temptation this lesser god offers

i do apologize...

Free me

Free me from this skull

free me from this ghoul

cuz i wanna haul

my soul from the Sheol

Dualism

What say you to God?

When you see somebody's being butchered to death...

What say you to yourself?

When somebody's actually your love one?

What say you?


I say, what am I supposed to do...
He says, he is taking everybody's pain...
She says, shame on you...

Will it be a matter?
if you surrender yourself to a fire...
Will it be a matter?
if you surrender yourself to a light...

or, is it a matter if there is neither light or fire?


What say you?

Intricate, delusively suffocating

You said world is full of love,
yet, it is full of hatred and mockery

You said world is full of compassion,
yet, it is full of vengeance

You said world is full of peaceful minded people,
yet, it is full of carnal minded people

It may be taking years to fix broken bones
It's surely taking forever to fix broken mind...

do i have to contemplate?
or do i have to take an action?
surely i will question..

am i one of them?
or am i an exception?

so, who are you?

Hoping for the rain to come...

Walk alone on empty road, I can see the light is gone
I can feel the time is frown...

Walk across the winding field, I don't feel like i'm in home
I don't feel like i'm in throne...

Cannot kill such a "roar", I don't know you anymore
i must feel i'm insecure

if you think i'm so ignored, i can't take it anymore
i can't hold this fist for sure


Hoping for the rain to come,
here for me i cant go on 
Hoping for the rain to come..
helping me to carry on..

Cuz I don't feel like moving on,
I can't feel.. my mind is numb..
fade away from universe
run away, hiding from the sun...

trusting Me the world is moving on...
so are you the one who can't move on your own
move on on your own

Life O life

Life is full of shit,

None is right

None seems to be right

Life is full of crap,

so i gotta do a crack

but Life holds hope and faith

laugh and smile burn the pit

i wonder how stupid i am

for not taking care of my own life

i question to thee who brought life onto me

if life is full of shit, how should i deal with it?

should i run and hide or die for it?

Life O life,

i wonder what you said to me?

Honesty Life Joy

I Think to myself,

"Fuck you God for not giving me so much money"

but,

"Thank you God for not doing so"